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woohooligan Apr 14, 2017
woohooligan NEW! Check out our best laughs from 2016!
I thought about putting off this comic and then I changed my mind because I realized if I was going to make this joke, I had to make it soon, before Trump's inevitable treason hearing. ;P

There are those who say we shouldn't joke about Trump because we'll normalize him, to which I say bullshit. The Daily show blasted George W. Bush almost every day for eight straight years and it never became normal to misunderestimate people, to put food on your family, or to peacefully coexist with fish.

Life is complicated and messy. Sometimes it's awesome, when all your hard work pays off. And sometimes shit happens. Right now a lot of shit's been happening for the past few months and yes, that makes things hard, but we pull together and we work for a better world. I saw people resisting bad stuff when Bush was president, but it was never as continually or as loudly as it is now that Orange Julius Caesar is in the Oval office. And the one thing we should never, ever do is lose our sense of humor. The truth is, you just can't keep working for that better tomorrow if your today is nothing but anger and despair. We've got to keep laughing! That's what's going to give us the strength to keep marching. :D

The heroes in this comic are my friend Rebecca Cohen's characters. GynoStar is a feminist superhero with menstrual-rays that make men feel the pain of childbirth, and her sidekick Little Sappho is a lesbian with literal gaydar. Rebecca's comics are pretty awesome too, filled with loads of hilarious political satire and social commentary. You should check them out!

Stay awesome, Hooligans!

p.s. Thank you to all my wonderful patrons who help make this possible!

I realize it might be easy to think that I just took a week off when you see that it's already half-way through the month and I'm just now posting the next comic. And frankly, I don't blame you for thinking I might just be sitting around. It's hard to imagine what someone else's day is like, particularly when the details of their schedule might be rather different than your own (and I'm guessing most of you reading this work more traditional 9-5 jobs).

Interestingly, despite having an advantage over other webcomic authors because I've been on disability for a couple years, I still sometimes don't have enough time to make the comic itself, which is something you can help with and some of you already are helping with. Even in a week like this past week in which I didn't manage to post a comic, I've still put in at least 40 hours of work on this project.

Some of the tasks I've performed that don't include writing, drawing and publishing these comics are: purchasing and reading books about marketing, creating, bidding and pruning my outgoing advertisements (I use Project Wonderful -- Google kicked me out because they're asinine prudes), meeting people and otherwise networking both in person and online (Facebook, Twitter), running down local organizations that might be able to help me with marketing like Opportunities for Ohioans with Disabilities (OOD), etc...

Things I've given up in the past year since I set a goal to make this my living: coffee (to save $40/mo to spend on my advertising), software engineering (my own projects AND paying work), eating other foods I like (my diet is mostly protein since the diabetes and while I might like to eat steak what this actually means is that most of the time I eat a can of Vienna sausages three times a day), reading other webcomics (mostly - I catch a couple here and there when I'm networking on Twitter and Facebook), and video games. I haven't just not bought any new games, I have not PLAYED even ONE video game, not for one SECOND, in over a year because I spend that time making these comics and marketing myself. (Sometimes when I realize I forgot to pick up a marketing book on the way to a doctor visit, I play Majong on my phone in the waiting room... it doesn't count.) And I would have given up buying new clothes if it weren't for the fact that I already didn't generally buy clothes and when I did I shopped second-hand clothes at the Salvation Army. And I've never had any substance habits to pay for, not even legal ones like cigarettes or alcohol, though I'm sure I would have worked hard to give those up if I had them... Okay, I take it back, I used to drink a lot of Pepsi and Mt Dew. :P (Both of which are off the table now, both literally and metaphorically, since I still prefer the miracle of life over sugar, although I hear that's a harder decision for most diabetics.)

However, because I'm the only driver in a house of five (me, my wife, Tiffany, her mother Carol and my three kids), a lot of time that I might otherwise devote to work necessarily goes to running errands like groceries, and taking my mother-in-law to the doctor in Hamilton (an hour drive by car), because she has hyperparathyroidism and the insurance couldn't find her an endocrinologist any closer (and we can't afford or manage to bus or Uber her an hour away for those appointments). That latter item, the hour drive to her doctor, is the main reason why I didn't simply accept using public transit instead of a super-expensive new car payment when the transmission suddenly failed in our Dodge several months ago and without warning and despite us keeping up with all the scheduled maintenance (and still actually owing money on that maintenance at the time).

My frustration is that I'm having difficulty funding my marketing for me to make these comics for a living. I know that my content is good, because people just like you come to the site, read through my archive and tell me they love it. And there are already thirteen or so people helping me keep this going... but that's really tenuous. In any given month, I'm still spending more on my advertising than I'm earning from Patreon. Now, I know that you guys love my work, like I said, even during the times when you're not actively telling me you love my work (which you often do), I can look at my Google Analytics and see that you guys are reading my archive. And I know that my advertising works rather well. The problem is, we have to pay for that advertising that will allow me to keep making you laugh. Last month I spent $80 for the month on advertising - that's not enough - and that was only possible in part because I earned $56 from Patreon and then spent $24 of my money (which was all I could afford). But $80 a month isn't enough for advertising.

I know some of you reading this may be unfamiliar with the cost of advertising, so here's an idea. I was looking into advertising on Hiveworks because they're all about comics and would be great target marketing and they would handle everything for me... they cost a MINIMUM of $1,000. That's not a typo. Now, yes, Hiveworks does have Google ads for people with a budget under $250 (like me), however, remember, Google are asinine prudes who banned me from Adsense because I make an occasional dick-joke, just like Robin Williams, John Stewart, or comedians who... like the ones who are breathing... those guys. Hiveworks comics have dick-jokes too, but Google are hypocrites and when a site makes them a bunch of money (like Hiveworks), they ignore their content policy. But if Google wouldn't allow me to have an ad on my site, they're not likely to allow me to advertise on their network either. So if I want Hiveworks in any way, I've got to find a way to put more than TEN TIMES the amount I BARELY scraped together for advertising last month.

All of this is to say, THANK YOU to the thirteen plus people who are currently supporting me on Patreon, helping me to scrape together that shoestring budget I'm using to market myself. And if you enjoy these comics and you'd like to see more, then you really should join those guys and pitch in a little on our Patreon. All of your support (and then some) goes directly into marketing and getting me to a place where I can devote less of my time to pruning my ads and more of my time to actually making you laugh! :D Because if you don't, and one more thing, one more ANYTHING happens to me (like the car dying, or having to move a relative across country), it really could torpedo my efforts to do this for you for a very long time.

If for some reason you really can't afford $1 each month (which gets you access to all the bonus comics on Patreon), then you can help like so many of you already are helping (about 3-7 of you every day), by sharing the comics you've enjoyed, telling your friends about them. The more you share, the more laughter I can make for you! :D

Oh, and you can join the over 18 people who are now on our mailing list to be notified when I publish new comics and if you like those, then you can share them when you get the email! There's a signup for that just above these comments. :D

So thanks for all your help!

Stay awesome!

Sam

Did you enjoy this? Want more? All of the bonus panels and alternate endings are now available on the official Woohooligan Patreon page!

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