David - Part 4
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woohooligan Aug 21, 2016
woohooligan NEW! I need your help! Check out my goals for 2016!
They come off real fast when you use a weed whacker. :P

I know what you're saying, "but the bible says 'foreskins'!" (Okay, just pretend you've read the bible.) Indeed, the King James bible and most other modern translations do say "foreskins", but they also say David killed those Philistines, so something tells me he wasn't a stickler for corpse circumcision. The word "foreskin" is a peculiar translation of a Hebrew word that meant "penis with foreskin", the same way that "manboobs" aren't in most cases accepted as a substitute for "boobs". This also happens to be one of the passages where there is an at least clerical error in the bible... whether or not David was an overachiever and gave Saul twice as many dicks as requested.

Also, tell me you didn't see this coming.

But maybe they weren't just collecting them purely for revenge... maybe they had an Elizabeth Bathory thing going on...



We lost a great TV show recently. Tiff and I watched the final episode of The Nightly Show on Comedy Central now that they cancelled it. John Stewart came on and shared some appreciation with Larry in which he said "a wise old man told me, don't confuse cancellation with failure." Being autistic like I am, it's something that I noticed that Larry was getting pretty choked up. Sometimes we lose great things like TV shows like Firefly and comics, etc. not because of their flaws, but because for one reason or another people just haven't rallied around them enough to keep them going. In my case I've struggled this year with several setbacks that were out of my control, like taking in my mom and losing the transmission in our car. I'm determined that Woohooligan will overcome these setbacks. And despite these challenges, the Patreon grew an average of $10/mo over the past seven months! I'm also still unsure about my disability in the next few months, but I'm determined to continue Woohooligan whether the disability continues or not. To compensate for the setbacks, I'm working extra hard on promotion. The recent Batman comic ended with a thank-you to all my wonderful patrons, covering a section of that comic made just for you. That worked out great! Shares for that comic surpassed my goals page that I've been promoting specifically for months within the first couple weeks! Patrons loved it, other people loved it! (Barring an anonymous heckler from Cheezburger.com. Hater's gonna hate!) So there will be more of that and also, Google Analytics tells me everybody loves the new ad I created from that comic! It's super-effective. :D

Larry Wilmore gave this beautiful final sign-off on The Nightly Show that resonated with me especially, because he explained much of why I make Woohooligan.


As a comedian, I see my role very much as turning the world upside-down and offering a view of it that you won't find in other places. Take these bible parodies: you can find them all over the place, parodies of David and Goliath, Noah's Ark, Adam and Eve and other famous bible stories. So when I parody the bible, I look for a different approach. Although these alternative views of the world aren't always comfortable, I strive to both entertain and provoke thought while we laugh. So if you want the umpteenth iteration of "I hate mondays" or "I'm addicted to coffee", I'm sure someone else can hook you up with that. You come here because you're a hooligan who enjoys something different! Thank you so much for inviting me into your home, your phone, or wherever you read Woohooligan, and thank you for sharing and helping me bring you guys these laughs! :D

Stay awesome, Hooligans!

Did you enjoy this? Want more? All of the bonus panels and alternate endings are now available on the official Woohooligan Patreon page!

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