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woohooligan Apr 13, 2015
woohooligan NEW! I need your help! Check out my goals for 2016!
Ahh, gluten! The latest in a long line of questionable dietary evils. Have you been shamed for your glutenous lifestyle yet? You will be! After all, it's one of the seven deadly sins: greed, wrath, envy, pride, sloth, lust and gluteny. But the whole thing is a bacon switch!

To be honest, this is the sort of thing that always runs through my mind when people bring up the ten commandments. Forget for a moment that there were never actually ten of them and you can only get the number ten by creatively condensing the list. Anyway, someone says "don't take the Lord's name in vain! It's one of the ten commandments!" Yeah? So are cooking instructions! According to the old testament, one of the things God wrote on those stone tablets Moses brought down from the mountain said "thou shalt not mix milk with meat!" Ooooh! Important shit! If we don't follow these commandments, we just might have ourselves a heathen stroganoff! The ridiculousness of these kinds of rules just leads me to think that if there is a god, he had more important things to do than correct the rabbis when they got all farklemt about a particular nosh.

And perhaps these things are on my mind more in the past year since I was in the hospital with my diabetes. I've been reading Good Calories, Bad Calories in an effort to learn more about my condition and improve my health and so far...

My doctor recommended agave instead of table sugar. It doesn't spike your blood sugar immediately... on the other hand it's instantly converted into fat! Sooo... opposite of what I want.

My doctor recommended more exercise... so... according to the research, the amount of additional exercise you would need to burn anything you've eaten is just freaking ridiculous! For ONE slice of white bread, you need to cover FOUR MILES to burn off the calories. I don't know about you, but I don't think it's practical for me to participate in a triathlon after every meal.

My doctor recommended that I get more fiber in my diet. There's evidence to support the idea that this is good for your bowels, so that's nice if you're not so regular, but otherwise it does nothing for your blood sugar or diabetes.

My doctor did recommend that I cut back on not just sugar but anything with a lot of carbs in general. It turns out what you mostly want to avoid is refined carbohydrates like white flour or white rice (which is way worse than white flour).

So... out of four pieces of advice from my doctor, one of them was sort of correct. ;)

The good news is that there's really no reason to avoid fat or dairy. In fact, reducing your fat intake increases your risk of cancer! So you can have as much cheese and fried chicken as your heart desires! In fact, bacon is one of the healthiest things you can eat! :D

Stay healthy, Hooligans! And as always, stay awesome!

Did you enjoy this? Want more? All of the bonus panels and alternate endings are now available on the official Woohooligan Patreon page!

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Tom Billings Apr 15, 2015
Good News on White Rice - Just this last week some researchers in India (where they are getting more Type 2 diabetes as the country gets richer) have found a cheap way to make the short chain starches in rice into longer ones.

1.) Cook the rice with some coconut oil.

2.) Set the rice to cool over night in the refrigerator. Heat it up whenever you want some.

These 2 steps are supposed to lengthen the chains enough to drop the "Glycemic Index" of rice nicely, and still not make the starches so long-chained that it no longer tastes like rice. I have not got the cocnut oil to try it yet, but it's on my list for shopping.
Yes, I remember this one, and still just as funny 3:)
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